FIRST!

Ok, I was reading a couple of blogs tonight, and one of my biggest online pet peeves reared its ugly head.

For some strange, and likely stupid, reason people feel the need to be the first to comment on a blog. That's all great and wonderful, but when the only thing they say is "FIRST!", it makes them look like a dumbass. Not only that, but if you look at the timestamps from when the post was published to when the first comment was made? Sometimes seconds apart. Obviously, they haven't read the post. Most of the time I'm not sure that they even know what blog they're on, let alone if the post is even comment worthy.

While I realize that I'm still fairly new to the blogging world, I seriously fail to see what the big deal is about being first to comment. Other than seemingly having nothing better to do with your life than try to be the first one to do something, what else did you accomplish by that? Seriously people...if you're going to comment, make it something worthwhile and not just some stupid competition.

By the way, because I know the people that will likely read this...my comments are moderated. Why is that important? Because if you comment with anything like "FIRST" (or any other number for that matter), I will just delete it and move on. Yes, I'm just that much of a dick to do that. :D

The song

Ok, so when my son was little I did a lot of rocking and walking and singing to him to get him to sleep. I got bored with the usual songs, so I started changing the words and making my own variations. One such variation stuck and I sing it to him just about every night. For reference, the nickname I have for him is Stinkerbutt. Why? 'Cause have you ever smelled baby poop? 'Nuff said.

So, at the risk of totally ruining any image I might have, here's my song. To the tune of "You are my sunshine":

You are my Stinkerbutt
My little Stinkerbutt
You make poopies
Twice a day
You'll never know dear
How much they stink
'cause we throw
those diapers away.

Yep, that's definitely one that will prove humiliating when I sing it during my toast at his wedding. ;)

Upcoming Birth...HELP?!?

So, as many of you know, we're having a baby in a couple of weeks. Not our first, but most likely (definitely) our last. We're all very excited, but also pretty nervous about the actual birth process. When our son was born, it was less than a pleasant experience.

As a result, my wife REALLY wants a doula there, but they are expensive. At first, we thought our insurance might cover it, but no such luck. Then we found a doula-in-training that was free, but we just didn't click with her. So, we're back to square one.

All that being said, anyone want to donate a few bucks to the "MY WIFE WANTS A DOULA BUT I CAN'T AFFORD TO GET HER ONE" fund? Pretty please?

A drink...

...would probably kill me. Talking about a drink with alcohol in it. The first one wouldn't kill me, but the ones after that likely would at some point. Probably almost did numerous times in the past, but there's no medical records to prove it.

Why am I telling you this? Because even though I know that having a drink would lead to VERY bad things for me, I still want one. Some days more than others. Some days it's no big deal. Today happens to be one of the tough ones. I'm not even sure why, to be honest, but it happens to be.

My last drink was 7 years 9 months ago today. I quit because I knew I had to, because I knew that eventually it would kill me. I was so over-the-top binge drinking that I'm surprised I was never hospitalized. I've told stories to even my most hard-core drinking friends that makes them shake their heads. Maybe some day I'll share them on here, but today that isn't going to happen.

Anyways, I quit because I had to. It was a great decision, and has allowed me to dramatically improve my life with a loving wife, two step-daughters, a son and a daughter on the way. I have a great job, make good money.

I have a thousand reasons why I should continue to be sober, and I have no intention of falling off the wagon, but it's a struggle. Using all of the will-power I have to stay positive about it and keep going one day at a time.

Yes, this was a rambling post. Probably many incomplete thoughts and people will likely have more questions than answers. But, it's basically the first time I've put this many words down about this subject, so it'll have to do.

Tamper Evident

So, I'm standing in front of the toilet taking a piss. I look up at the shelf above the toilet and see a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, with a big label that says: "TAMPER EVIDENT: Do not use if the printed label has been broken or removed".

As I finish up, shake it and it put it away, I am left wondering..."So what they're saying that after one use, I'm supposed to throw the bottle away and not use it again?"

The things I think about...now being written down for all to see.

Trolls

I hate trolls. Whether they be characters in a movie, monsters in D&D or the internet dwellers that are too chicken to own up to their thoughts and comments. A lot could be said about the movie and D&D monsters, but I'll leave that to the movie critics and geek bloggers.

I will, however, go on a mini-rant about the bottom feeding, ignorant ass-clowns that like to pop up on blogs for the sole purpose of trying to piss people off. Most of the time they succeed, which is unfortunate. What is fortunate is that there is the ability to press a single button and have them disappear. Why more people don't do that, I'm not sure, but that's a topic for another time.

Tonight I was directed to a troll that happened to pick on someone I have never met, and to be honest, never heard of. However, the subject matter is one that I am familiar with, at least to some extent. So, at the request of my lovely wife, I cracked my knuckles and settled in for a good ass chewing. I love a good ass chewing. It makes me happy. In one comment I managed to work in a reference to Tom Cruise and "swallowing". Is that awesome or what?

You can read the full extent of my ass chewing by reading this Blog and the subsequent comments.

P.S. If you do not like my comment, or my language or my attitude...I so don't care.

Fuck.

There, I said it. In fact, I love to say it. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. I could keep going for a long time. It makes me feel better for some reason. I don't know why, nor do I care why. Fuck. Yep, makes me smile. I can come up with all sorts of combinations of words that have fuck in it. Someday I might actually post them. But for now, fuck it, I'm happy just saying FUCK.