...would probably kill me. Talking about a drink with alcohol in it. The first one wouldn't kill me, but the ones after that likely would at some point. Probably almost did numerous times in the past, but there's no medical records to prove it.
Why am I telling you this? Because even though I know that having a drink would lead to VERY bad things for me, I still want one. Some days more than others. Some days it's no big deal. Today happens to be one of the tough ones. I'm not even sure why, to be honest, but it happens to be.
My last drink was 7 years 9 months ago today. I quit because I knew I had to, because I knew that eventually it would kill me. I was so over-the-top binge drinking that I'm surprised I was never hospitalized. I've told stories to even my most hard-core drinking friends that makes them shake their heads. Maybe some day I'll share them on here, but today that isn't going to happen.
Anyways, I quit because I had to. It was a great decision, and has allowed me to dramatically improve my life with a loving wife, two step-daughters, a son and a daughter on the way. I have a great job, make good money.
I have a thousand reasons why I should continue to be sober, and I have no intention of falling off the wagon, but it's a struggle. Using all of the will-power I have to stay positive about it and keep going one day at a time.
Yes, this was a rambling post. Probably many incomplete thoughts and people will likely have more questions than answers. But, it's basically the first time I've put this many words down about this subject, so it'll have to do.